Time to laugh :))

Once there was a kid named Sam. He woke up early in the morning and got ready for school. At the end of the day, his teacher called him and said
"your homework is to memorize the first four letters of the alphabet".
When Sam went home, he asked his mom the first letter of the alphabet. His mom said "be quiet" because she was busy cleaning. Then Sam went to his dad and asked him the second letter of the alphabet. The dad replied "Ya ya ya" because he was talking on the phone. Later Sam went to his older brother and asked him the third letter of the alphabet. His older brother was reading a comic book and so replied "Superman!". Finally, Sam went to his baby sister and asked her the fourth letter of the alphabet. His baby sister dropped something in the toilet and so replied "in..the..toilet..". The next day when Sam went to school the teacher asked him about the first four letters of the alphabet. Sam replied "be quiet!" The teacher got mad and warned Sam that she will send him to the principle. And so Sam said " Ya ya ya". The teacher send him to the principle's office. The principle asked Sam what his name was. Sam said "Superman!". The principle asked him where he lived. Sam replied "in..the..toilet"

Another one for you Mete
: 13:

patient : doctor,doctor lizard entered in my ear.
doctor : when?
patient : morning eight o clock doctor.
doctor : now 12 O clock why you have not come to me for treatment?
patient doctor i thought that lizard will caught the cockrooch which was entered at early morning 4 O clock.

Oops-Neptune wrote:

patient : doctor,doctor lizard entered in my ear.
doctor : when?
patient : morning eight o clock doctor.
doctor : now 12 O clock why you have not come to me for treatment?
patient doctor i thought that lizard will caught the cockrooch which was entered at early morning 4 O clock.

next he will tell mongoose went to my ears for catching the snake. : 10: : 10:

best oops comedian........i think im gonna make new group n rank vip esspecially for u : 16:

Thx Mete : 1:

neptune u know tamil jokes or english few hindi jokes i cant understand : 10:

Hey Y only Oops-NEptune posting jokes. anyone can Post guys . Dont worry u can also post in Hindi I m waiting .........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
And neptune Nice joke dude . carry on

Man1: Kadavul kitta 'enakku oru velai, pai neraya panam, pakathula naraya figuru eppothum irukkanum' endru vaendi'kittadhu thappa poiyirichu.
Man2: Aen, enna aachhu?
Man1: Ippam naan "ladies special" bus'la conductor'a irukkaen

எல்லாம் சரி, இப்படி மொட்டையா வந்து புகார் கொடுத்தா அதையெல்லாம் ஏத்துக்கமாட்டோம்.

என்ன சார் அநியாயமா இருக்கு, அப்ப என் தலையில் முடிவளர்ற வரைக்கும் நான் புகாரே கொடுக்க முடியாதா?

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through ourprogram of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to giveour students more S.H.I.T. than any other school. If you feel that you donot receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer.

You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and ourlecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. youcan handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONALEVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, theydon't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others.We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management andconsultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONALRESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how tomanage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions, please direct themto our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING

lol lol lol lol : 7:

Eye Test

A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters:

'C Z W I N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied - 'I know the fellow.'

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the MCSE exams, except one. Unless you pass this test you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready'
The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

Super Punch:
Athigama “Makeup” podura ponnum..
Romba nala tea kadaila thongra
“BANNUM” nalla irundhatha
sarithirame illay.

Girls Love Policy:
Naanga yaara venum naalum kalyanam pannippom.
Sanjay Ramaswamy'ya irundhalum sari,
Mechanic Murugan'na irundhalum sari.
Aana kalyanam mattum Sanjay Ramaswamy'a mattum dhan pannippom.
Aana paarungalaen, neenga Sanjay Ramaswamy'a irundhalum sari,
Mechanic Murugan'a irundhalum sari,
Kadaisiyila neenga aaga poradhu mental dhan!

heheheheh the second 1 : 16:

A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.

Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, What?

Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time...

Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you

Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Kid: No, my mummy beats me.

Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?

Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

Neptune rulzzzzzzzz no.1 : 11:

Thx Uni : 9:

atleast uni came to see my troble of givng gratitude rain : 10:

Short Cut Jokes

1) Doctor : "What would you do first if you caught Rabies?"
Trainee Nurse : "First of all I'll bite my mother in law".

2) An actress was filling up a form. There was a column in the form where one was required
to state marital status," Married / Unmarried".
And she wrote: "Occasionally Married".

3) "My wife has the worst memory".
"Does she forget everything?"
"No, She remembers everything".

4) Wife: "Have you bought hankies for me?"
Husband: "No".
Wife: "But, Why?"
Husband: "You never gave me the size of your nose!!".

5) Sita: "What do you use to clean utensils?"
Geeta: "I have tried several things but I have found my husband is the best thing".

6) Mother : "What are you writing Ram?"
Ram : "I'm writing a Letter to Baby Sham"
Mother : "But you don't know to write!"
Ram : "So What?, Anyway Sham don't know to read, That's why".

7) Father : "Idiot. How dare you scold your Mother?"
Son : "Don't feel Jealous, since you can't do that".

8) Watchman : "Police will catch if you Urinate here"
Small Boy : "But What are they going to do with my Urine".

9) Two students of second standard didn't know if trousers were singular
or plural. After thinking for very long time they decided, "Singular above and plural below".

10) Old woman : "Doctor I have severe pain in my right leg".
Doctor : "That is due to old age".
Old woman : "But both of my legs are of the same age".
Doctor : ?!


11) A Doctor had an urgent phone call from a man saying his small son had swallowed his pen.
Doctor : "All right! I"m coming soon, But what are you doing in the mean time?"
Man : "I'm using a pencil".

12) A little girl went to the school for the first time. Her Teacher told her that if
she wanted to go to the Toilet she should raise her index finger. The girl looked
puzzled and asked, "How that's going to stop it?"

13) Sita : "How old is your Sister?"
Geeta : "Twenty five"
Sita : "But she says that she is twenty"
Geeta : "She is also right, She learnt counting only at the age of five".

14) Teacher : "Why is honesty the best policy?"
Student : "Because there is hardly any competition".

15) Nurse : "Wake up man"
Patient : "Why what's the matter"
Nurse : "Nothing, I just forgot to give the prescribed sleeping pills".

16) Uncle : "When were you born?"
Child : "20th August, by the way when were you born uncle?"
Uncle : "It was fourty years ago, on a Sunday"
Child : "Don't try to befool me, Sunday is a holiday".

17) Mother : "Eat bananas with milk, it will add colour to your face"
Daughter : "But who wants yellow cheeks or a white face".

18) X : "What happened when you teased that girl with the dog?"
Y : "She crossed me as if I were a lamp post but her dog didn't."

19) Teacher : "What is the best way to prevent milk from getting sour?"
Student : " The best way is to leave it in the cow itself."

20) Thief 1 : "The police has come, they are already in the lift, let us jump down through the window"
Thief 2 : "No, no we are in the 13th floor"
Thief 1 : "Hey come on man Don't be Superstitious".

21) Teacher : " Isn't it amazing how chicks come out of the eggs?"
Student : " It's more amazing how they get in."

22) Father(angrily):"You are fit for nothing, How long can one live without brains?"
Son : "I don't know, by the way how old are you father?"


23) Son : "Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?"
Mother : "I don't know, Ravi. I never met your father's people".

A chicken goes into a library and says, "Bok," so the librarian gives it a book. Ten minutes later the same chicken comes in again and says, "Bok bok." The librarian gives the chicken two books, but being a bit curious, follows the chicken down the road where the chicken meets a frog. The frog says to the chicken, "Redit, redit!"